Lily rolled her eyes and sighed. Sometimes she had the distinct feeling that she was married to a five year-old. "James, drop it. Do not ruin Christmas because your feelings are hurt."
It truly was amazing that nobody had noticed their bickering yet, even though it was held in whispered, but hateful tones. Chessa proved this by laughing. "Could you two maybe join in everybody else's conversations? I know you haven't seen each other for a whole week, which sets a record, but there are other people here."
James and Lily pasted identically civil expressions on their faces. Tossing themselves into conversation, they made it through dinner with a facade of normalcy, except for when Lily 'accidentally' dumped sugared cranberry salad into James's lap.
When James saw and felt the congealed dessert fall on him, his face formed into a perfect expression of shock and surprise, but not the slightest trace of anger. As previously mentioned, his calling truly was the stage.
Lily also mimiced surprise, her eyebrows raising, along with the corners of her mouth, indicating suppressed humor.
"Thank you, my dear, nothing like cranberry salad to put me in the holiday spirit."
"I knew you needed a pick-me-up." Lily was biting her tongue to keep from exploding in gales of laughter.
"You think this is funny, don't you?" James asked, and Lily could tell by the darkening of his eyes that he was rather angry.
"Mmmm, yes."
"Exactly what I thought, Evans." Reverting back to tactics of his ten year-old self, James scooped some of the lumpy mess, and unceremoniously rubbed it on Lily's arm, and in her hair before she could move.
Lily stared in disbelief, looking between her formerly white sweater and her smirking husband, who now had his eyebrows raised. They table was silent with shock. "Oh. My. Heaven." Lily looked up at James, only to see him lean back in his chair, fingers laced over his cranberry-covered stomach. "Potter, I can't believe you just did that."
"Nor can I believe you just dumped that entire dish of cranberry salad on me. I believe the term is 'do unto others as you would wish they do unto you', no? I'm sure your finishing school taught you that, Evans."
Lily lowered her eyes in what everybody, even James, thought was a sign of meek submission. "However, Marauder rule number fifty seven and three eighths encodes that a prank shall be returned with a pranker of equal or greater value, am I correct Sirius? Remus?"
"Uh, yeah." Sirius said.
Remus looked highly amused. "Right again, Lily. And rule fifty seven and four eighths requires that the prankfest shall continue until one or both parties gives a complete and unconditional surrender."
Flashing a bright smile at her new-found accomplice, Lily turned back to James. "So, Potter, are you ready to surrender yet?"
"My heart is dashed to bits, don't you know by now that I don't under any condition surrender?" James leaned forward, intensity sparking his blue eyes.
A rather frightening grin of determination crossed Lily's face. "Well then, Potter, it might just be a long Christmas holiday."
"If that's the way you want it." James grinned, then seeing Sirius's face, continued, "Padfoot, stay out of this one. She's mine." James then looked at Lily again. "No outside interference of any kind. None at all. Deal?"
"Deal." Lily shrugged, and peacefully started eating her dinner again, as did James after cleaning up the cranberry salad. "But keep in mind you can't do anything to awful for obvious reasons."
"That's a bunch of bull, but unfortunately I know that you're right."
"Potter, dear, I'm always right."
"In your dreams, Evans."
"Don't touch my plate. And in my dream I'm right, just as in reality." Lily slapped James's hand from her plate, undoubtedly set on doing all sorts of dastardlly things to it.
"Aren't you two a little old for this? And married? With an impressionable teenage boy? And I thought you got over your little problems, oh, say when you were ELEVEN!" Sirius suggested.
"Whatever gave you that idea? I've been secretly harboring hate, letting it fester and boil inside of me, all the while plotting his untimely demise." Lily said, receiving a silence. "Right, well, I guess I need a new audience."
"Oh can it and eat."
"Who are you tell me to eat?"
"I'm the boss of this joint-"
"Only in your feverish fantasies!"
"No, my fantasies are slightly better than having control of my own home-"
"Go jump off a bridge, knucklehead. I would've said something else, but Sirius is in the room."
"Evans, I'm afraid you'll have to go outside, this house isn't flame-retardant."
"You four-eyed little son-of-a-milkshake!"
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