Ginny had a wide smile on her face as she flipped through the albums. "This will probably make me sound like I'm on some kind of medication, but looking on these pictures make me unexplainably happy."
"Happy as in you feel like that there's a chance that life can be fair every once in awhile, and that good things do happen by some chance of fate?" Lily questioned.
"Yes." Ginny reached the last page, a nine by twelve photograph, the only one in the album that didn't more, of Lily and James standing in the middle of the dance floor, smiling at each other.
"I feel the same way. But right now, those feelings are surpassed by the general feeling of coldness due to that cold front moving in, bringing twenty kilometer per hour winds with it." Lily smiled as she stepped lightly off the swing, gathering the albums in her arms along with the blanket. "If you would like, you can look at these inside. The green and blue ones are quite comical, they're baby photos of James, Sirius, and Harry."
The next few days preceding Christmas Eve passed in a flurry of baking, shopping, and worrying for Lily. She has started preparing the superhuman meals for the two Christmas feasts the Potters would share, on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day. The refrigerated room off the kitchen was filled with dishes waiting to be heated for the meals.
Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny went to Diagon Alley on the twenty-third, which gave Lily the needed time to wrap their presents, as well finish her shopping for various other members of the family.
The worrying part cast a dark cloud over her Christmas holidays. The Daily Prophet was splattered with articles each day, featuring the fake Dominy's newest exploits, which were truly a nightmare considering the girl was a Sinnient, therefor quite capable of anything. Other than that, it seemed whenever she had any time to spare, flashes of James and his Auror team would appear to her, giving her unwanted insight to what he was going through. By the time she woke up on the morning of Christmas Eve, Lily was nearly going insane from the visions. Then, there was always that selfish part of her, upset that James wouldn't be home for Christmas. For the past two days, she had been looking outside at every noise, wishing fervently that James had apparted to the front walk, and would bounce through the door any minute. When that happened again on on the morning of December twenty fourth, she mentally shook herself. There was no way James would be able to make it home for Christmas, even though he had promised. There were just some things he couldn't do.
I'll be home for Christ-mas, You can plan on me.
After Lily resigned herself to this fact, she tried desperately to cheer herself up, but found it impossible. She wanted so badly to make this a wonderful Christmas for Harry, but what she felt was selfish pity was keeping her from enjoying the holidays. The entire morning of December twenty fourth, Lily dashed around the house, taking care of last minute plans so efficiently that her old finishing school would have beamed with pride.
Please have snow, and mis-tle-toe, And pres-ents on the tree.
Luckily, Lily was so busy that she didn't have much time to really think about her absent husband until well after three o'clock in the afternoon. Nearly all the guests had arrived and been taken to their guest rooms, and were now in various rooms watching Christmas themed programs on the television. Lily had managed to steal away and shower, dressing in clean, flour-free clothes, a green sweater and black skirt, that would be suitable for the nice-clothes Christmas Eve dinner at seven. Sitting at the scrubbed kitchen table, Lily pulled out her creased, food-stained, torn, and singed list of things needed to be done.
X Make sure Sirius is nowhere near the drinks or food during following tasks
X Bake gingerbread
X Check the crystal, china, and silverware for knicks, scrapes, or dents
X Go over table settings with Minky
X Heat up all foods with green label
X Give instructions to other House-Elves for Christmas Eve egg-nog, punch, hot chocolate, and cider
Decorate & assemble gingerbread house
X WRAP HARRY'S PRESENT!!!
"Alrighty, one thing left." Lily murmured to herself, removing the sheets of cooled gingerbread from the pantry, along with the chilled icing and other decorations.
Lily intently built the gingerbread house, holding the walls together with the sticky icing, putting candycane trim along the edges, and glazed sheet candy created glowing windows. She was putting the roof on as she heard a sound outside, on the front walk. For the millionth time that week, she put down what she was working on, and twitched back the curtains of the window directly across from the table, affording a clear view of the garden gate.
Christmas Eve will find me, Where the love light gleams
But this time, instead of seeing Harry's dog, or some other such critter, the tall, lean form of a dark haired man met her eyes. Unable to believe her eyes, Lily ran out of the kitchen, down the short hallway, and into the entrance hall, throwing open the front doors so hard that they clattered against the wall on either side. She dashed out into the snow, unmindful of the wet coldness sliding into her shoes, the biting wind coercing her hair from its heavy bun, or even the heavy snowfall creating an instant layer on her shoulders.
"James?!" Lily asked, her deepest fear suddenly being that the man would turn around and it would just be one of his relatives. She slowed down to a walk. "James?" Lily completely stopped, and she had to dash away tears quickly.
"Hola, Feliz Navidad, Prima."
Lily's mind started screaming a thousand denials, a million excuses, anything to keep reality from beating her down as the man turned around, revealing Miguel. "Igualmente(likewise), Miguel." Lily replied, disheartened to see the vampire, his hair silver at the temples, red and black eyes, harsh features. They were so unlike James's perpetually untidy jet-black hair, his sapphire eyes, or his caring face that would undoubtedly curve into a smile when he saw her again.
"You were expecting James, no? I am sorry he is missing on the Christmas festivities, even more so for unintentionally leading you to false assumptions." Miguel said softly, looking genuinely apologetic.
"It's okay, Miguel, but thank you." Lily forced a small smile that was really only the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as she motioned for him to come indoors.
I'll be home for Christ-mas, If on-ly in my dreams.
"All the guest rooms on the third floor that have a red ribbon on the door are free. The green ones are already occupied. Choose which one you want and the ribbon will automatically change, okay?" Lily asked, forcing a smile as she left Miguel by the staircase.
"Do you want to talk about it, Lily?" Miguel asked kindly, putting his hands on her shoulders.
"There's really not much to say, other than James had to leave, and I know he won't be back for Christmas. He promised, but there's no way!" Lily furiously scrubbed at the tears off her face.
Miguel hugged her comfortingly, and Lily barely found it strange at all that the vampire she would have rather murdered than look at a few years ago was letting her cry softly against his pitch black robes. "It will be alright, Lily. I know you are very lonely without James, especially at Navidad, but he will be home soon. Right now you have the rest of your family."
"But it's not the same." Lily whispered miserably. "I don't know them. My parents are gone. I miss them. Even though there are people all around me, I'm so very lonely."
"I understand, Prima. I have felt the outsider myself many times. But I do believe you will think of something to make you feel better."
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, lifting her face.
"I'm sure you will discover what I mean when you look deep inside your heart." Miguel said mysteriously, patting her shoulder than hoisting his luggage to walk upstairs.
"Now what kind of vampire philosophy nonsesne is that?" Lily asked nobody in particular, deciding to return to the constructing of the giant gingerbread house.
"It's not the same.
Lily finished what she considered to be a mansion of a gingerbread house, suitable to have its very own room in the Louvre. Biting her trembling lip stoically, she put together a smaller, but equally pretty gingerbread house that she would save for James, so he could have the requested gingerbread house when he got home. Lily was making a marshamllow snowman in the front yard of the house when nostalgic memories of her childhood came washing over her.
"Papa! Look! My snow man is almost as big as Petty's!" The seven year old Lily frowned for a moment. "But I can't lift it. Will you help me?"
"Sure thing, Princess!" Logan came jogging over, effortlessly lifting the snowball the child couldn't.
Lily giggled, covering her mouth with her snow covered hand. "Thank you! This is even better than James Potter's snow man. He'll be ever so jealous!"
"All that matters is that you like the snow man." Logan said, lifting Lily, then tossing her in the air.
"I love it! This is the best snow man in the whole entire universe!"
Lily had to smile. But then she remembered all the Christmases that Harry didn't have his father to lift huge snow man sections, or teach him how to throw snow balls properly(knowing James, he would teach harry to put rocks in them first).
"And what are you doing downstairs at this hour, Little Lily?" A deep voice boomed as the five year-old Lily creeped down the stairs, stuffed lamb in her chubby hands, and her red hair straggling down her butterfly pajamas.
"Father Christmas?" Lily had whispered, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes, it is I. But I can't give you any presents if you don't run back upstairs right now, and go to sleep."
"Alright! Mummy and Petty and me left you milk and cookies! They're in the kitchen."
"And excellent cookies they were! Did you help your mother make them?" The man asked knowningly.
"You really are Father Christmas! Only you would know that I did! I'm going to bed now!" Lily turned and stumbled up the stairs, a maniacal grin on her small face, one tooth missing.
Lily had recognized in her later years, after James had not-so-kindly disillusioned her about Father Christmas, that her father had been the man in the long red coat and long white beard. It was strange, she hadn't noticed the voids in her holidays while James was there, but without him, it unbearably empty.
Lily had to smile. But then she remembered all the Christmases that Harry didn't have his father to lift huge snow man sections, or teach him how to throw snow balls properly(knowing James, he would teach harry to put rocks in them first).
"And what are you doing downstairs at this hour, Little Lily?" A deep voice boomed as the five year-old Lily creeped down the stairs, stuffed lamb in her chubby hands, and her red hair straggling down her butterfly pajamas.
"Father Christmas?" Lily had whispered, her eyes wide with wonder.
"Yes, it is I. But I can't give you any presents if you don't run back upstairs right now, and go to sleep."
"Alright! Mummy and Petty and me left you milk and cookies! They're in the kitchen."
"And excellent cookies they were! Did you help your mother make them?" The man asked knowningly.
"You really are Father Christmas! Only you would know that I did! I'm going to bed now!" Lily turned and stumbled up the stairs, a maniacal grin on her small face, one tooth missing.
Lily had recognized in her later years, after James had not-so-kindly disillusioned her about Father Christmas, that her father had been the man in the long red coat and long white beard. It was strange, she hadn't noticed the voids in her holidays while James was there, but without him, it unbearably empty.
Lily had the gingerbread houses completely finished at a quarter till six, and according to her list, everything else was done also. This gave her mind the time to continually throw the same idea at her over and over again. Finally, Lily couldn't take it anymore, it was as if an invisible force pulled her out of her chair, made her mouth form the syllables to the house-elves "I'll be back within the hour, don't worry" made her open the kitchen door. That force made her put on a long woolen cloak, made her wrap her scarf tightly about her throat. It made her draw her hood tightly about her hair, it made her slide her hands into the warm gloves. Then that same phantom propelled her into the sitting room where Harry was playing checkers with Ginny. It made her speak again. "I am going out for a little while. Does anybody need anything."
"Where are you going, Mum? Isn't dinner in just an hour?" Harry asked, frowning. He rose and started walking toward her, looking very concerned. Apparently that phantom had molded her expression into a strange one. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine, Harry, I just need to do something."
"I'm going with you." Harry said forcefully, walking into the entrance hall to get his own coat.
"Excuse me?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow at his sudden change in demeanor from the mild boy to somebody so...James-like.
"You're acting oddly. Actually, you look rather unalert, I'll go with you to make sure you don't get hurt."
"I'm going to a cemetary, I doubt that's where you want to be on Christmas Eve."
"Why in the world are we going to a cemetary?" Harry asked, walking beside his mother as she stepped outside the yard and into the street. "And why are we walking there?"
"It's not far away. And it's something I have to do. Wait a second, I'll be right back." Lily went back inside the house, returning with a single poinsettia blossom. "I've been having trouble dealing with my father's death this Christmas. I believe it's because at other times James has been with me, and it's really hit me this time. He died during my seventh year, shortly after Christmas. He died shortly after I told him of my engagement to your father. The next year, it would have been my first Christmas without either of my parents, was Sirius and Gina's wedding. I was so caught up in that, I barely noticed, not to mention I found out I was pregnant and I became very well accquainted with the Lodge's toilet. The next Christmas was your first Christmas." Lily smiled. "And this is my next Christmas, and for once I'm not incredibly busy, well emotionally, and now I know how much I miss him. Here we are."
They turned into the great snowy field, just a few bumps sticking out of the white blanket. That same phantom guided Lily to the right gravestone, where she gently wiped away the snow.
Logan Joseph Evans
1931-1980
Adored Husband and Father
Life is a Mystery to be Lived, Not a Problem to be Solved
Lily smiled as a tear rolled down her face. "I love you Papa." Lily whispered, tenderly placing the poinsetting at the foot of the gravestone.
Harry watched on silently for awhile, until Lily got up and smiled at him. "Are you alright now, Mum?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, Harry." Lily smiled, a burden lifting off her. "I feel much better in fact."
To be better, far than you are
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"Is everybody ready for dinner?" Lily unconsciously spoke in the same soft, gentile tone that Meredith had used so often with her own guests. Lily grinned as people sprang up from their seats, Sirius being the leader, and started toward the dining room. With an almost forgotten Potter courtesy, the males held out the chairs for their female counterparts, and the chairs scooted in magically.
Harry and Ron looked at each other, then made a mad dash for somebody to seat. Ron ended up nearly killing Hermione by pulling out the chair as she was ready to sit. Harry, on the other hand, pulled out a chair for Ginny, then walked very quickly to his mother, who was sedately walking by herself to the chair at the foot of the table, since there were so many people that every chair was needed at the sides.
"Thanks, Harry." Lily smiled, sitting down in the offered chair, then grimacing as she saw the empty place at the other side of the table, china and crystal in place as if James could walk in at any moment. Apparently she hadn't went over EVERYTHING with the House-Elves like she had thought.
In no time, everyone had been seated, Grace been said, and heaping dishes passed around with a background of laughter, chattering, and the soft Christmas music.
"So, how's Gryffindor's prospects, Harry, I expect the team captain can give us the best view." Chessa said, smiling at her cousin.
"Er, uh, good. I mean well. We're doing well. We've got one more match against the Slytherins before the season's over, and that's got me a little worried." Harry said, stabbing his turkey with zeal.
"You've already played them twice. Don't tell me you've inherited the Incessant Potter Worrying Gene." Sirius joked, heaping his own plate with sweet potatoes.
"It's Christmas Sirius, and no telling what Malfoy's dad will buy the entire team." Harry said dryly.
"You should be thanking your lucky stars that the new Firebolt 1000s aren't up for sell yet." Miguel added. "Or, him being a Malfoy, each player on Slytherin House would have one."
Different conversations went on, and Harry decided it was normal for one Potter to just jump into somebody else's conversation for a quick input, then return to their own.
The dinner finally ended, with Sirius loudly sighing, earning a glare from his wife. "Lily, that is the best food I've ever eaten in my life. Unfortunately, if I eat another bite, I'll be sick."
"Then I'll let you off without pestering you for fifths." Lily said, laughing at Sirius, who looked miserable.
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